On Wednesday morning I was sitting at work and going about my day when my phone rang. It was Kathie telling us it was a match, we were officially selected by Dana, our birth mom, she had made it official that morning and we were clear to start making travel arrangements.
So much emotion, excitement and nervousness. I couldn't get the fear of 'what if she changes her mind' out of my head. I think this is a natural fear of all adoptive parents but after a failed adoption just a couple months ago, my fear was very much burning a hole in my stomach.
I was so excited to call Rich and tell him. This was it, we would soon be holding our little guy and our lives would be forever changed. I could not believe this was finally happening. After all this time and after all we had been through we were finally going to be a family, our dream was finally becoming a reality.
Later that night Rich and I began to book everything for our trip to Jacksonville. We booked our airline tickets, thankfully we had enough airline miles that we only had to pay $20 for the round trip airfare. We booked our hotel, an extended stay place so that we would have a stove top to be able to cook some of our meals and save on eating out. We then booked our rental car. Things were booked, confirmation numbers saved and anxieties at an all time high.
After work, Rich and I made a list of all the things we needed to get and do before we left on Monday. We needed blankets, clothes, something for the baby to sleep in, bottles etc. WE HAD NOTHING. We had the whole weekend to get this all done but the list was made and ready to be tackled on Saturday. Rich and I were just a few days away from being a family!
Friday, September 20, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Our Adoption Story: Phone call day = Crazy day take 2
As predicted, I didn't sleep much that Monday night. Tuesday morning I was excited but nervous all at the same time. We were set to have our call with Kathie at lunch time, she would explain what the phone call would look like with the birthmother. What things to talk about with her and what topics to stay away from.
I went to work as per usual and tried to not let on that anything big was going down later that day. When I walked into the building, everything was hunky dory and normal, until the elevator door opened on my floor. My first thought was "that wasn't me!". This disgusting, stomach turning smell hit me smack in the face. I walked through the front door and our agency administrative assistant looked at me, and my scrunched up face, and said "I know, it wasn't me". So GROSS. Turns out that, despite pleads from our building asking for notice, that Chipotle next door had cleaned out their grease traps and it had polluted our building air intake. It was so bad our boss sent us to work from anywhere that had wifi. Corina and I packed up our laptops and headed for Satellite coffee to take advantage of their wifi and enjoy a tasty beverage at the same time. It was supposed to be a low key day for me, time to get caught up on board report numbers and interpreter requests.
As we were sitting in Satellite my boss emails me, she had stayed in Santa Fe over night because there were more legislative events happening on Tuesday but there were supposed to be interpreters provided for it so I wasn't needed down there. The email says that she needs me in Santa Fe by 1:00, it was 11. I was not dressed for legislation events. I had to RUSH home, 25 minutes away, and change clothes and hit the road. I was angry because I was afraid I would miss my call with Kathie or that I would lose cell service being on the road on my way to Santa Fe.
I made it home, changed clothes and hit the road. I had spoken with my boss and let her know I was on my way but that I MUST be back in Albuquerque by 4:30, no exceptions. She didn't see this as being a problem at all so off I went.
As I hit the highway my phone rang, it was Kathie. Once I was on the phone she got Rich on the phone and began explaining everything to us. With each passing "do" and "don't" the butterflies in my stomach fluttered more and multiplied in number. I was so nervous when Kathie told us she would not be on the phone call with us. UMM WHAT? Rich and I have to go this alone? Holy Cannoli. I needed a safety net, cuz I was bound to screw this up on my own.
We made it through the call, without losing cell service, and were all set for the phone call. Kathie was emailing me the phone number to call that evening. How was I going to make it through the day?
I arrived in Santa Fe, there was a lot of hurry up and wait. I was growing more and more frustrated as all I wanted to do was be in Albuquerque to ensure that Rich and I were home in time to make this call, a call that had great potential to change our lives. As the afternoon ticked by, I was getting more and more anxious and increasingly frustrated as we were waiting and waiting and waiting for the Senator that requested the meeting to arrive. She eventually did and then we went into the session. Despite their being 7 interpreters, my boss wanted me to stay and interpret the legislative session, so I did. All went well and was over and I was in my car and back on the road to Albuquerque buy 3:30. I FLEW home.
Shortly after I arrived home, so did Rich. We were nervously "ready" for our call. As time ticked by, I thought I was going to pass out with nerves. I didn't know how we were going to get through this call. I don't recall ever being THAT nervous in my life. This was it, the moment we had been waiting almost 3 years for.
A few minutes after 5:00, I dialed the number Kathie had given us. The phone rang and rang, no one answered. This made me even more nervous, had she changed her mind? Rich said to wait a few minutes and try again. I didn't have to try again because my phone rang and it was her.
The phone call didn't last long, about 20 minutes (which Kathie had said was average and to be expected). There were a few awkward silence moments but it wasn't too bad. I think we were all nervous. Questions were asked about if we wanted to be there for the birth, since it was a scheduled c-section. Of course we wanted to be there, if she wanted us to be there. The birthmothers mom got on the phone, she had some questions for us too. She wanted to make sure that we were going to love this little baby, a baby boy, and protect him. We tried to reassure her as best we could and tried to be open and honest as much as we could. I explained that we would not only love and protect this little boy but that he would know how amazing and selfless his birth mom was, how she loved him so much that she wanted a better life for him than she could provide and so she picked us to raise him.
When we hung up the phone we had made arrangements. We were going to fly into Jacksonville on Monday afternoon and meet her and her mom for dinner. We would then be with her on Tuesday morning as she went in for her C-section. All was looking good. Almost too good. After the phone call ended, Rich and I just held each other and cried. This was it, this felt so different than the situation in November. We were going to have our baby, and we were going to meet him in less than a week. We were in shock, we were thrilled, we were scared.
We called Kathie to let her know how the phone call went. She asked "Well, how'd it go?" I said "we made plans to meet for dinner on Monday." We all laughed as Kathie said "I'd say it went pretty well then!" It was all so surreal, so exciting and so nerve racking because we were not yet in an "official" match. This birthmother still had to make it official and say that she picked us as the adoptive family.
Another sleepless night was ahead for sure!
I went to work as per usual and tried to not let on that anything big was going down later that day. When I walked into the building, everything was hunky dory and normal, until the elevator door opened on my floor. My first thought was "that wasn't me!". This disgusting, stomach turning smell hit me smack in the face. I walked through the front door and our agency administrative assistant looked at me, and my scrunched up face, and said "I know, it wasn't me". So GROSS. Turns out that, despite pleads from our building asking for notice, that Chipotle next door had cleaned out their grease traps and it had polluted our building air intake. It was so bad our boss sent us to work from anywhere that had wifi. Corina and I packed up our laptops and headed for Satellite coffee to take advantage of their wifi and enjoy a tasty beverage at the same time. It was supposed to be a low key day for me, time to get caught up on board report numbers and interpreter requests.
As we were sitting in Satellite my boss emails me, she had stayed in Santa Fe over night because there were more legislative events happening on Tuesday but there were supposed to be interpreters provided for it so I wasn't needed down there. The email says that she needs me in Santa Fe by 1:00, it was 11. I was not dressed for legislation events. I had to RUSH home, 25 minutes away, and change clothes and hit the road. I was angry because I was afraid I would miss my call with Kathie or that I would lose cell service being on the road on my way to Santa Fe.
I made it home, changed clothes and hit the road. I had spoken with my boss and let her know I was on my way but that I MUST be back in Albuquerque by 4:30, no exceptions. She didn't see this as being a problem at all so off I went.
As I hit the highway my phone rang, it was Kathie. Once I was on the phone she got Rich on the phone and began explaining everything to us. With each passing "do" and "don't" the butterflies in my stomach fluttered more and multiplied in number. I was so nervous when Kathie told us she would not be on the phone call with us. UMM WHAT? Rich and I have to go this alone? Holy Cannoli. I needed a safety net, cuz I was bound to screw this up on my own.
We made it through the call, without losing cell service, and were all set for the phone call. Kathie was emailing me the phone number to call that evening. How was I going to make it through the day?
I arrived in Santa Fe, there was a lot of hurry up and wait. I was growing more and more frustrated as all I wanted to do was be in Albuquerque to ensure that Rich and I were home in time to make this call, a call that had great potential to change our lives. As the afternoon ticked by, I was getting more and more anxious and increasingly frustrated as we were waiting and waiting and waiting for the Senator that requested the meeting to arrive. She eventually did and then we went into the session. Despite their being 7 interpreters, my boss wanted me to stay and interpret the legislative session, so I did. All went well and was over and I was in my car and back on the road to Albuquerque buy 3:30. I FLEW home.
Shortly after I arrived home, so did Rich. We were nervously "ready" for our call. As time ticked by, I thought I was going to pass out with nerves. I didn't know how we were going to get through this call. I don't recall ever being THAT nervous in my life. This was it, the moment we had been waiting almost 3 years for.
A few minutes after 5:00, I dialed the number Kathie had given us. The phone rang and rang, no one answered. This made me even more nervous, had she changed her mind? Rich said to wait a few minutes and try again. I didn't have to try again because my phone rang and it was her.
The phone call didn't last long, about 20 minutes (which Kathie had said was average and to be expected). There were a few awkward silence moments but it wasn't too bad. I think we were all nervous. Questions were asked about if we wanted to be there for the birth, since it was a scheduled c-section. Of course we wanted to be there, if she wanted us to be there. The birthmothers mom got on the phone, she had some questions for us too. She wanted to make sure that we were going to love this little baby, a baby boy, and protect him. We tried to reassure her as best we could and tried to be open and honest as much as we could. I explained that we would not only love and protect this little boy but that he would know how amazing and selfless his birth mom was, how she loved him so much that she wanted a better life for him than she could provide and so she picked us to raise him.
When we hung up the phone we had made arrangements. We were going to fly into Jacksonville on Monday afternoon and meet her and her mom for dinner. We would then be with her on Tuesday morning as she went in for her C-section. All was looking good. Almost too good. After the phone call ended, Rich and I just held each other and cried. This was it, this felt so different than the situation in November. We were going to have our baby, and we were going to meet him in less than a week. We were in shock, we were thrilled, we were scared.
We called Kathie to let her know how the phone call went. She asked "Well, how'd it go?" I said "we made plans to meet for dinner on Monday." We all laughed as Kathie said "I'd say it went pretty well then!" It was all so surreal, so exciting and so nerve racking because we were not yet in an "official" match. This birthmother still had to make it official and say that she picked us as the adoptive family.
Another sleepless night was ahead for sure!
Our Adoption Story: Crazy busy day
So, I know its been a while. This move was crazy, that's a blog for another day, but we are finally (mostly) settled and now I can get back to this. So here it goes:
Monday February 4, 2013 I was walking out of my office, with my boss, to head down to Santa Fe for the legislative session. It was going to be a long day and we would be working well into the evening hours.
As we were walking out of the office building my phone rang. I recognized the number as being our adoption agency so I answered it. When I answered they asked if it was a good time to talk, what was I going to say? I explained that I was getting in the car and about to hit the road so if we were disconnected they knew I hadn't just hung up on them. They proceeded to tell me that the birthmother, the one they had asked us about last week, wanted to talk with us. My heart jumped into my throat. I didn't know what to say, this had never happened before. They asked if that evening was a good time but with me working in Santa Fe all day, and our scheduled slot with the legislators not being until that evening, it was going to be a late phone call. I explained this to them, and with the birthmother living in Florida, and the 2 hour time difference, I didn't expect it to happen.
They said they would ask her if that evening, and the time I would finally be free and able to talk with her, would work and let me know. I was on pins and needles all day. It was so hard not to get excited because we still didn't really know if she would be able to talk to us or when. With the pressure of my assignment that day, I was going stir crazy. I was glad I had work to focus on, it didn't stop me from checking my phone every 5 minutes but still.
Sometime that afternoon I received a call from Kathie, she had to leave a message because I could not answer my phone. She said that the birthmother would not be able to speak with us that night because it would be too late. I completely understood, it would have been 10:00pm her time. What woman, being 9 months pregnant, would be awake and able to have a conversation at that hour?! So Kathie had set it up for the next day at 5:00p. I was so nervous but so very excited to talk to Rich and tell him.
Adoption was so close, we could taste it. But would this be a repeat of November? Would she speak to us and not like us? Would she decide that she wanted to parent? Would we be heart broken all over again?
I didn't get home from Santa Fe until late that evening, 9:00 I think. The whole way home I was nervous, butterflies in my stomach and prayers in my heart. This was going to be a long evening, probably filled with sleepless fears.
Monday February 4, 2013 I was walking out of my office, with my boss, to head down to Santa Fe for the legislative session. It was going to be a long day and we would be working well into the evening hours.
As we were walking out of the office building my phone rang. I recognized the number as being our adoption agency so I answered it. When I answered they asked if it was a good time to talk, what was I going to say? I explained that I was getting in the car and about to hit the road so if we were disconnected they knew I hadn't just hung up on them. They proceeded to tell me that the birthmother, the one they had asked us about last week, wanted to talk with us. My heart jumped into my throat. I didn't know what to say, this had never happened before. They asked if that evening was a good time but with me working in Santa Fe all day, and our scheduled slot with the legislators not being until that evening, it was going to be a late phone call. I explained this to them, and with the birthmother living in Florida, and the 2 hour time difference, I didn't expect it to happen.
They said they would ask her if that evening, and the time I would finally be free and able to talk with her, would work and let me know. I was on pins and needles all day. It was so hard not to get excited because we still didn't really know if she would be able to talk to us or when. With the pressure of my assignment that day, I was going stir crazy. I was glad I had work to focus on, it didn't stop me from checking my phone every 5 minutes but still.
Sometime that afternoon I received a call from Kathie, she had to leave a message because I could not answer my phone. She said that the birthmother would not be able to speak with us that night because it would be too late. I completely understood, it would have been 10:00pm her time. What woman, being 9 months pregnant, would be awake and able to have a conversation at that hour?! So Kathie had set it up for the next day at 5:00p. I was so nervous but so very excited to talk to Rich and tell him.
Adoption was so close, we could taste it. But would this be a repeat of November? Would she speak to us and not like us? Would she decide that she wanted to parent? Would we be heart broken all over again?
I didn't get home from Santa Fe until late that evening, 9:00 I think. The whole way home I was nervous, butterflies in my stomach and prayers in my heart. This was going to be a long evening, probably filled with sleepless fears.
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